I have a distinct idea of what my happiest life feels like. It’s the perfect balance of chaos and structure. It’s spontaneity and responsibility seamlessly coexisting. It’s late night swims, followed by showers in a freshly scrubbed tub. It’s love making on hot summer nights and standing naked in the kitchen eating cold cherries. It’s a well-stocked fridge that allows for impromptu picnics, and sipping coffee on Sunday morning while reading to the sounds of laundry.
And right now I’m failing at creating this life. I feel simultaneously unproductive and no fun. I need to vacuum and I can’t remember the last time I went out dancing. I just feel off. Not myself. Blah.
Tonight I clean and cook. Tomorrow I frolic.
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